


i won't speak if you don't want me to speak.

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Jack's Heist, Lots of R & R Connection, M/M, Michael's Heist, Ray-centric, Ryan's Heist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 03:12:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1763789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They don't talk about Ryan's Heist.</p><p>But that doesn't mean Ray thinks about it any less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i won't speak if you don't want me to speak.

**Author's Note:**

> it's really late again sighs  
> more mistakes are made  
> ray is not my strong point  
> but  
> this had to be written since we only see stuff about jack & michael's heists

They don't talk about Ryan's heist. 

But that doesn't mean Ray thinks about it any less. 

Most of the memories aren't pleasant ones; waiting on top of the garage for an hour before his boys were even close to being set up, listening as the heist started and not being able to do anything to help. Those weren't even the bad ones. The explosion of the helicopter not too far from him that even he felt, the sound of skin against skin and Geoff's strangled noises as he fell, those were the bad ones. 

But the worst? 

Looking down the barrel of Ryan's gun, which was pointing at him. The treacherous words that the male spoke. 

_I guess, the others are dead, there doesn't have to be two of us._

Ray had pulled out his own gun, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. And maybe he should have seen this coming, but he didn't. Meaning, one of them was gonna have to go. 

_Don't you fucking do it._

Had it not been for the voice that came through their headsets at that moment, one of them would be lying dead on the ground. The words were inaudible, but it was definitely coming from Jack. Then came Gavin's tinny voice, complaining about how the heist had gone down. Michael made his own snarky comment, and it felt as though Ray hadn't just been thinking about how _dead_ they were.

When he found out everyone's story, that was the best thought he could takefrom the heist. Jack, Michael, and Gavin had gotten out of the copter just in time, and the butt of Ryan's gun to Geoff's face had only knocked him out. All his boys were alive. And yes, he was even relieved that Ryan was still next to him (and breathing), and didn't have a bullet hole through his chest. 

But that relief didn't make him any less tense when Ryan reached out. It didn't stop him from not trusting him, and Ray's not sure if he will ever look at the gent the same way. 

Everyday, Ray sees the image again and again. Even when nobody brings it up or speaks of it, it always replays in his mind. He sees Ryan, his partner in crime, his lover, holding a gun up to his head for the money that was obviously so much more important than his life. 

Months pass, and new missions are assigned and planned. He's so busy in the daytime that he's able to temporarily forget about the betrayal. But it never permanently leaves his mind. It's there when he lies in bed with his lovers, keeping him awake even later than Ryan. And when he does manage to fall asleep, it's there in the form of a nightmare. 

He doesn't mention it to the rest of the men though. Ray can't find it in him to disrupt the peace that was balanced so precariously between all of them. Bringing up Ryan's crime would be bringing back painful thoughts of near death for all of them. He just couldn't do that to them. 

Especially not when they start planning Michael's heist. They have the pressure of a few failed robberies weighing them down, and now is not the time for his shit. So Ray just pushes it away and does his part. He doesn't complain about being partnered up with Ryan, but he does keep a wary eye out on the older man. 

It's successful in the end and when Ray sees the wide smile on Michael's face and the joyful glint in all their eyes, he's glad he kept control over his emotions. He gets the reward of seeing everyone so happy, and it may just be the best he's felt in the past months. With the accomplishment on their side, they now had a clean slate. Everybody was overzealous and confident when helping Jack to plan his mission, and Ray will admit that even he soaks up the emotions and acts a little cocky himself. 

When Ray is alone on the ground while the other boys are up in the jet, he finds himself wondering if this is a result of their over confidence. He doesn't have much time to ponder it, because the cops are all over his ass and he's alone. 

Or so he thought. 

The rainbow parachute caught his attention for a second. It's Ryan, and had he been listening to his headsets, he probably would have known that the gent was coming to help him. But it's yet another thing Ray doesn't see coming. All he can think is that Ryan is getting near him - with a gun. 

He stays ducking behind the car and he can hear the bullets that police are wrecking the car with. His eyes are wide and he can't bring himself to move. The memories that he kept on lockdown all come flooding back and he can't do anything. Ryan crouches down beside him, gun still gripped tight in his hands. 

"Eagle three, why the hell aren't you shooting?" 

Ryan's words bring him out of his overbearing thoughts. Ray did as asked, not chancing another glance at the gent. 

His odd behavior was not questioned for the remaining time, and it was forgotten when everyone basked in their glory. 

But while everyone drowned in joy, Ray was drowning in hurt, distrust, betrayal. 

But there was no need to speak of it. Those days were long gone. 

It was Jack who noticed first, but he didn't voice his concerns to the rest of the group without speaking to Ray first. "Ray?" He asked softly, approaching said young man who sat tensely on the couch. 

"Yeah?" He did not even look at Jack, instead facing the television where My Little Pony reruns played.

"Are you okay?" His curiosity was abandoned for now, instead being replaced with concern for the youngest lover. 

"'M fine." 

"Are you sure - ?"

"Can't you see I'm a little busy? I don't want to chat." There was definitely something wrong, Jack decided. Ray never snapped like that without a reason. 

And of course, Jack couldn't not mention it to the rest of the gents. They deserved to know, after all. Geoff brushed it off as a bad day, and Ryan idly agreed. But there was something in his eyes, which only meant one thing. He was going to get to the bottom of this. 

It was a few days until he confronted Ray, and he watched him closely everyday to see if the behavior changed. When it didn't, he waited until the young man was alone to talk to him. 

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, running one hand across Ray's shoulders in what was meant to be a comforting manner.

"You know what I'm thinking about." He was quick to respond, and Ryan nodded dejectedly in agreement. 

"Why don't you ever talk to me about it?" He slowly sat down next to him on the couch, keeping a small distance between them. He just wanted Ray to finally speak to him again. He wanted them to work things out.

"Y'know, I just think some things are better left unsaid."


End file.
